About Me....

So I mentioned at the beginning of this year that I was going to take some time to work on "me" this year.  The "me" that might have been neglected a bit in the last five years of raising kids.  Someone very close to me mentioned that a wise person knows when to ask for help and seeks it when needed and over the course of the last year or so I've come to realize I need help.  (Thanks mom for the pep talk! ;))  So I've started to really look at some areas in my life where I could ask for help or some areas of my life where my priorities needed to be adjusted so I could be the best version of myself which would then help me be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, co-worker, etc.  Some of the changes I've made since January 1st have included: 1.) leaving work earlier..... I typically stay about an hour to 1.5 hours after my allotted time is up.  In order to spend time with my boys and not just feel like I was cook and bedtime patrol, the earlier departure from work has given me the ability to just embrace playing with my kids or watching them ride bikes or cuddling on the couch or checking off the evening to-do list earlier than normal so we can cuddle when the "must dos" are checked off. 2.) asking Zack to do more or be home more...... Zack averages a 60 + hour work week.  He often leaves by 4:00 a.m. and now returns home closer to 6:00 p.m. instead of 7:00 p.m.  I have experienced what it would be like to be a single mom for a good portion of the last year during the work week.  Fortunately, Zack is home on the weekends so I'm definitely not claiming single mom status.  However, the weeks are filled with rushing to get us dressed and out the door each morning and home, fed and bathed in the evenings.  I told Zack I needed help in the evenings since I knew his help in the morning wasn't an option.  Fortunately, he has been making attempts to get home a little earlier in the evening so I can go from being outnumbered to having man-to-man coverage. 3.)  Asking my parents if we can eat dinner together once a week.  My parents are always willing to help.  I've been the stubborn one that has wanted to try to do it all by myself.  I am realizing (especially for nights when Zack works late) that seeing adults and having extra hands at dinnertime is amazing!  This help goes a long way!  4.) Trying to start monthly date nights.....we actually have one scheduled tonight!  Once a month, I am going out to dinner with my husband so he can remember the woman he fell in love with rather than the crazy person he comes home to in the evenings who is yelling at the kids.  5.)  I am starting to see a counselor.  I hesitate to even write this because I feel like it makes me feel so vulnerable and like I've failed.....but I now realize that it is not a weakness to acknowledge I need help.  And any help I can get will hopefully make me the best person for the people in my life.  I had my first appointment this past week.  A couple of the take aways I have from the first week are.....sometimes I need to slow down and just breathe when it seems like chaos is swirling around me (at home or at work).  God has equipped me with everything I need to handle the situations in my life.  It is already evident that I've problem-solved my way through some of the adversity I feel I'm currently encountering.  He has a plan and there are no accidents.  I need to find ways to take care of me.   So on that note... I'm going to summarize a few of my favorite things right now.....
1.) I LOVE blasting country music on Saturday morning when I go to meet my sister for a run.  (I realized this is the only time every week I am in the car by myself.... gotta live it up!)
2.) I LOVE the Saturday morning run with my sister to vent or listen or just catch up with my best friend.
3.) I LOVE the hot shower after a long run on Saturday.  It is the only day where I feel like I can take my time in the shower and one of the only days where Zack is in the house so I'm not constantly worrying that Maddox has decided to take a walk around the neighborhood while I'm in the shower (yes... I do think about these things while in the shower..... yes.... he is still in bed when I take a shower.... yes.... Maddox breaks the mold when it comes to what he will try!  And for your information.... I deadbolt all the doors after Zack leaves for work so I hopefully don't have to worry about Maddox escaping out one of the doors!)
4.)  I LOVE cuddling with my boys..... they truly are the best cuddlers...... and it is the best part of the day talking to them individually about how their day was while we snuggle under their blankets!
5.) I LOVE that Zack picks up breakfast for our family on Saturday morning while I'm running!
6.) I LOVE the sense of accomplishment when I can get things checked off the to-do list at work.
7.) I LOVE when Zander comes into my room after school and enthusiastically calls out "green day!" since he was on his best behavior at school.
8.) I LOVE when Maddox says "Super stamp smiley face day" when he shows me his paper in his folder to show he followed directions..... he also has a slight lisp since he sucks his thumb which makes all the "S"s in the above statement that much cuter!

Until next time, prayers are appreciated as I seek to find ways to find contentment within and manage the day-to-day responsibilities of raising two action-packed boys.  I know God called me to be their mommy and He has equipped me to do it.
Here are two pictures that include some of my favorite big and little people.....

M's Spirit Week and Z's First School Dance!

We are back at school and back into the normal weekly routines.... here is a quick post to show you what we have been up to!! Linds and I knocked out a 10 mile run on the first Saturday in January.  We are getting ready for our annual half marathon that we do together which will be in April this year rather than a traditional May run.  Today we ran 8.25 miles so we are definitely enjoying the time we have together once a week and getting ourselves ready for the next race!  Zander had his first school dance (as a student at our school).  He came with me last year but this one was so much more fun as I watched him dance with his friends and run around the gym!  He has made some great friends in kindergarten, and we love watching him each day as he is learning more and growing up before our eyes!  Zander hung out with one of his best buds, Thatcher, and got to choose between two sweet girls to dance with!  He loves Lana and Mia!  Zander even ran into a friend, Lynlee, from his previous preschool that was at the dance! Maddox has been having a great week as well with his friends.  He had spirit week this past week so each day we had to remember to dress the part!  He wore sunglasses and a hat one day, another day was pajama day (you can see him with his little girlfriend, Mollie, and with his best bud, Burke), he also had superhero day, sports day and spirit day where he wore his preschool's gear!  Maddox also loves Puggles (part of our church's AWANA program) on Sunday nights where he and mommy match in our Puggles t-shirts! We are enjoying the time we have together and I am trying to leave work a little earlier each day so I can be "mom" for a little bit longer each day.  So far it has been working well, giving me more time with my boys!  

Hello 2019!

The week between Christmas and New Year will always be one of my favorite weeks of the year.  Some years we have been sick and some years we have been healthy.  Every year we have been together!  Zack takes a few days off between the two holidays so we can spend time together.  Sometimes we try to make big plans and then sometimes we change them to meet the needs of two cute little boys.  Zack and I have been spending these days together every year for the past 14 years.  Sometimes we have gone to the beach with family and sometimes we have made plans with friends.  Sometimes we have stayed put in our little town and enjoyed all it has to offer.  That is exactly what we did this year.  Here is how we spent our week together....

We went bowling!  Notice that daddy only beat mommy by one pin!

I went to the movies with mom, dad and Linds to see the new Mary Poppins movie.... we love seeing movies together especially when we saw the original together many years before.  This might become a new yearly tradition. ;)

 We took the boys to see a movie in the theaters!

 We went to the science center!

 We ate some ice cream (maybe more than once)!

We hooked up the Wii that has been collecting dust for the last five years.  The boys love the sports options and Mario Kart!

We had extra cuddles before bed!  Daddy bought a few new books at the science center that he loves to read with all his boys. :)

 I dressed the boys in matching outfits for church. :)

We also fit in a couple days full of bike rides and cuddles on the couch!

For New Year's Eve, we had the Whites and Williams family over for some yummy food and merriment!  The boys played together and then watched a movie while the adults and the little girls played Catch Phrase.  I only took pictures when the boys were still on the couch and, of course with the guy I've been spending New Year's Eve with since 2005!

As I look toward 2019, I am starting to reflect on what I can do differently this upcoming year.  I realize how truly blessed I am to have the family God has given me, friends that love and support me and a job I enjoy doing!  I have struggled these past couple years to really find contentment in the day to day.  I have great contentment in the big things in my life, but it seems like the days can wear me down.  They are filled with a lot of anxiety on my part and a lot of patience-trying moments.  It has been hard for me to navigate raising two energetic boys while also balancing the demands at work and in our home.  So this year I am going to work on myself.  As you will find any time you get on an airplane, the flight attendant always asks you to put on your oxygen mask before you help others.  This is something I am working toward this year.... I'm working toward making myself better so I can be the best version of myself for the boys that depend on me daily.  Please pray for me as I work through this.  This focus will cause me to say "no" sometimes to things and to say "yes" sometimes to things.  I hope that at the end of 2019 I can clearly see how this focus has positively impacted my whole family.  I am trusting God to lead me in the process.  He has always been with me through life's circumstances and will continue to go with me in 2019. 
Proverbs 16:9......."A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps."