About Me....

So I mentioned at the beginning of this year that I was going to take some time to work on "me" this year.  The "me" that might have been neglected a bit in the last five years of raising kids.  Someone very close to me mentioned that a wise person knows when to ask for help and seeks it when needed and over the course of the last year or so I've come to realize I need help.  (Thanks mom for the pep talk! ;))  So I've started to really look at some areas in my life where I could ask for help or some areas of my life where my priorities needed to be adjusted so I could be the best version of myself which would then help me be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, co-worker, etc.  Some of the changes I've made since January 1st have included: 1.) leaving work earlier..... I typically stay about an hour to 1.5 hours after my allotted time is up.  In order to spend time with my boys and not just feel like I was cook and bedtime patrol, the earlier departure from work has given me the ability to just embrace playing with my kids or watching them ride bikes or cuddling on the couch or checking off the evening to-do list earlier than normal so we can cuddle when the "must dos" are checked off. 2.) asking Zack to do more or be home more...... Zack averages a 60 + hour work week.  He often leaves by 4:00 a.m. and now returns home closer to 6:00 p.m. instead of 7:00 p.m.  I have experienced what it would be like to be a single mom for a good portion of the last year during the work week.  Fortunately, Zack is home on the weekends so I'm definitely not claiming single mom status.  However, the weeks are filled with rushing to get us dressed and out the door each morning and home, fed and bathed in the evenings.  I told Zack I needed help in the evenings since I knew his help in the morning wasn't an option.  Fortunately, he has been making attempts to get home a little earlier in the evening so I can go from being outnumbered to having man-to-man coverage. 3.)  Asking my parents if we can eat dinner together once a week.  My parents are always willing to help.  I've been the stubborn one that has wanted to try to do it all by myself.  I am realizing (especially for nights when Zack works late) that seeing adults and having extra hands at dinnertime is amazing!  This help goes a long way!  4.) Trying to start monthly date nights.....we actually have one scheduled tonight!  Once a month, I am going out to dinner with my husband so he can remember the woman he fell in love with rather than the crazy person he comes home to in the evenings who is yelling at the kids.  5.)  I am starting to see a counselor.  I hesitate to even write this because I feel like it makes me feel so vulnerable and like I've failed.....but I now realize that it is not a weakness to acknowledge I need help.  And any help I can get will hopefully make me the best person for the people in my life.  I had my first appointment this past week.  A couple of the take aways I have from the first week are.....sometimes I need to slow down and just breathe when it seems like chaos is swirling around me (at home or at work).  God has equipped me with everything I need to handle the situations in my life.  It is already evident that I've problem-solved my way through some of the adversity I feel I'm currently encountering.  He has a plan and there are no accidents.  I need to find ways to take care of me.   So on that note... I'm going to summarize a few of my favorite things right now.....
1.) I LOVE blasting country music on Saturday morning when I go to meet my sister for a run.  (I realized this is the only time every week I am in the car by myself.... gotta live it up!)
2.) I LOVE the Saturday morning run with my sister to vent or listen or just catch up with my best friend.
3.) I LOVE the hot shower after a long run on Saturday.  It is the only day where I feel like I can take my time in the shower and one of the only days where Zack is in the house so I'm not constantly worrying that Maddox has decided to take a walk around the neighborhood while I'm in the shower (yes... I do think about these things while in the shower..... yes.... he is still in bed when I take a shower.... yes.... Maddox breaks the mold when it comes to what he will try!  And for your information.... I deadbolt all the doors after Zack leaves for work so I hopefully don't have to worry about Maddox escaping out one of the doors!)
4.)  I LOVE cuddling with my boys..... they truly are the best cuddlers...... and it is the best part of the day talking to them individually about how their day was while we snuggle under their blankets!
5.) I LOVE that Zack picks up breakfast for our family on Saturday morning while I'm running!
6.) I LOVE the sense of accomplishment when I can get things checked off the to-do list at work.
7.) I LOVE when Zander comes into my room after school and enthusiastically calls out "green day!" since he was on his best behavior at school.
8.) I LOVE when Maddox says "Super stamp smiley face day" when he shows me his paper in his folder to show he followed directions..... he also has a slight lisp since he sucks his thumb which makes all the "S"s in the above statement that much cuter!

Until next time, prayers are appreciated as I seek to find ways to find contentment within and manage the day-to-day responsibilities of raising two action-packed boys.  I know God called me to be their mommy and He has equipped me to do it.
Here are two pictures that include some of my favorite big and little people.....