To My Grandpa

Grandpa,

I miss you already! I know you are in a better place, reunited with family members and friends you have lost here in the past.  It doesn't make it any easier to say goodbye to a man that I've known my entire life.  A man that I lived next door to since I was less than a year old until I started living on my own.  A man that is in so many of my happy memories.  Memories of camping, sleepovers every weekend, entertaining you and grandma by performing plays, singing songs or dancing around your living room with my sister, your smile and laugh when I did just about anything, helping me learn how to drive my first car, dancing with you at my wedding, and I could go on and on......  You had been sick for awhile and to be honest, it was hard to see you this way.  It is easier for me to think of the memories I listed above than to think of the last couple years.  The last couple years, you were often confused and had a hard time getting around.  That is why I'm so thankful that today (for the first time in a long time) you have no more pain, you have clear memories and you are able to experience something I look forward to one day.... you are seeing our heavenly father!  You are seeing God and how all his promises in the bible have come together within His perfect plan.  You are seeing that it made sense all the church services you attended and sometimes fought to comprehend were all part of what God had planned specifically for you when He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins.  I look forward to seeing you again one day.  I look forward to seeing your smile and looking into your brown (almost black) eyes.  These eyes I looked into every day for the past week as we knew your time on earth was coming to an end.  Some of my final memories with you include you telling me you loved me as your final words to me.  You holding my hand as you struggled to sometimes catch your breath.  You looking into my eyes as I told you it was going to be okay and God was going to make everything new.  The chaplain coming in to pray with you and reading Psalm 121, reminding you that our help comes from the Lord and He is watching over you.  Your heart beating while I laid my head on your chest one last time on the day before you passed.  It is hard to really put all my thoughts into this blog post.  I just want you to know that you are deeply loved by God and by your earthly family.  We miss you and mourn our loss.  We are grateful this is not the end, and we will see you again.  Thanks for always keeping us on our toes and starting this whole crazy family with our grandma! I love you, Gramps!  "See you soon!" 

I'm loving little reminders of you throughout my day.... like listening to your voice on a voicemail I saved from four years ago or seeing your handwriting in the bible you and grandma gave me when I was about ten years old.  Zander has been carrying this bible around for weeks and I happen to look at the front page just yesterday.

4 ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’[a] or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”

5 He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.” - Revelation 21:4-5